Getting lost in neverland — hitting reset
Ten minute, three step exercise to stay engaged during 2021.
Lately, I’ve been feeling a little disoriented. Work is fine, home life is fine, everything is fine. I’m fairly healthy, I have a baby girl on the way (game changer!), my day job is pretty incredible.
So what’s the issue? Sometime along the way, over the past year or so, my goals dissipated. I’m the ‘climb the mountain’, overachiever type that needs a guiding light— someone who thrives when I have a vision to help chart my course. In some ways we all need this. Without something clear to run towards, I get a little disenfranchised.
While the pandemic and state of our country may have been the fire starter for feeling a little lost and disoriented, there’s nobody to point the finger at but myself. Nobody’s making decisions for me. Nobody’s deciding what news I consume, or how to make sense, interpret, or respond to what’s going on around me.
Time for a reset
This is a good reminder that I’m in control of how I take on life, and how important a vision for the future is to how I take on the present. In other words,
it’s time for a reset.
It’s a time to ‘start over’ — to assess my goals and what’s important to me. Maybe you’re looking for same thing?
But where to start?
Unless this reset is simple, achievable, and approachable I won’t even start, I’ll just get overwhelmed, or tell myself I don’t have the time. So after giving it some thought, I came up with three steps to help guide how to properly reset on what I want, how to get there and how to hold myself accountable. Three steps to put myself in the right frame of mind and keep me focused on the right things.
We’re all different, but so far this approach is working for me. It only takes about 10 to get started. This is one of those ever evolving, you get what you put’ exercises that can be 10 minutes or 10 weeks long. But its helping me get back to the basics, and a timely way to reset at the top of the year.
Step 1 - Identify your ‘why’
Start with your ‘why’ for existing. This question can feel very overwhelming, but it’s important to hone in on why you exist. I picked this up from a few wise marketers I’ve worked with in the past. Originally coined by a guy named Simon Sinek the idea is that;
People won't truly buy into an idea until they understand the WHY behind it.
Basic psychology right?
So why do you exist, what are you existing for? It’s a big question, but there are ways to get at the answer without just shrugging and flipping the channel.
Not sure what you’re ‘why’ is? I thought about what I have you accomplished in the past that resonates with me. Can you think about what resonates with you or why you did it?
Want another approach? I also looked at what I’m currently trying to achieve (both consciously and subconsciously). What’s bringing me satisfaction? What am I currently doing that I enjoy or that makes me feel fulfilled.
There’s another way to look at it. What am I trying to solve for in my life? If it’s to be ‘happy’ then you may want to reconsider that. There’s quite a few studies that show trying to go after happiness could actually be depressing.
My current why is:
Leaving a positive impression on life by helping myself and others reach our true potential.
To me reaching true potential seems really general, so I’m in the process of defining what parts of that ‘potential’ resonate with me to make it a little more actionable. Some of the things that resonate with me are all of the unique, creative ideas we have yet to invent to make life better and more interesting. I also get excited when I think about the potential of each person to develop their craft, their character, their knowledge, as well as the potential to make progress both in our relationships and as a society.
Step 2 - Create simple goals for your why
I’ve been asking myself, what are some things I can start doing today to reach my potential, and help others reach theirs? I have a tendency to try to do too much, so I’ve been taking a step back to look at simple, achievable ways to grow.
It’s really baby steps. When I break it down pragmatically, it’s starting with a few short term goals, what can I do every day or week? What I can do every month? By doing this, when will I reach my first short term goal? Next goal? Breaking it down into small goals to get to the bigger goal.
Step 3 - Find ways to stay on track
It’s easy for me fall of the wagon if I don’t have any guardrails installed. Putting a few tools or mechanisms in place can remind, motivate and help me stay out of my own way.
Staying accountable
Here are a few tactical ways I’ve found to achieve your goals. Their basic, but it’s surprising how easy it is to get off track when I don’t take the time to do these simple things:
Write down goals on a checklist and look at the checklist every day.
Put reminders in a calendar.
Find accountability partners
How it can look in practice
Another one of the ways I want to reach my true potential is to exercise consistently. This is a no-brainer for my any of us because exercising can boost your mood, energy, and cognitive power. Actually doing it consistently though is part of the problem :). My wife and I got a peloton in September (@Orlowski) and my small goal has been working out on the peloton at least three days per week from mid-December to mid-January so I can start to create a habit. Once I get to the first week of January, I’ll put another goal in place, as I’ll have had time to see how I’m performing against this first goal and whether I need to bump up to four days per week or go down to two days per week to make it a bit more achievable.
Another way I’ve stayed on track is by putting a commitment in my calendar on specific days to remind me 1) I’ve committed to this and 2) it’s time to work out. When it’s in my calendar, I can’t miss it or ignore it as easily.
To help create a routine, I’ve made sure I work out at the same time every day, that way I don’t have to think as much about it.
Moving beyond fears
There’s that voice inside all of our heads telling us we can’t, we won’t, we shouldn’t for one reason or another. Part of the reason I haven’t shared as much online is the fear of being judged. Talking about my why and reaching my true potential doesn’t feel cool, edgy or innovative. It is also feels really personal and a bit embarrassing.
Part of my fear also comes from the permanence of sharing online. All of these thoughts are available to anyone with wifi — strangers, colleagues, future bosses, music critics, family, friends, fans, the list goes on.
Beyond that, I fear being a hypocrite — sharing something with the world, but then not following through with it now or sometime in the future. Some of these fears are warranted, but facing these fears is part of staying on track, so part of my accountability is sharing this online with you.
Let’s reset.